Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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