So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
