if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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