Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
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It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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