Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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