I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
