Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
