So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
