you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize