How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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