I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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