1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I have demons in me.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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