It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
