wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize