I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
