I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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