your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
