wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
