OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Sacagawea was the original milf.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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