we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
