Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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