you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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