Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
