I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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