I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
