She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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