he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My first STD was from a foam party
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My ass is underappreciated
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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