sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
