Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
