I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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