just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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