I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
