He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
