I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
