i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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