I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
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Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
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SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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