honey bunches of taint.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
