i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well