Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century