Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
