I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
