you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
