There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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