Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize