So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
