you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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