drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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