Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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