five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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