Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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