i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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