Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
