I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
