also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
