So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I have feelings that need drinking.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
