i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
