You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
