She's JV to your varsity
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Let's paint friendship bongs
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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