In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
