Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize