Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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