This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
organizing the empties. That sober.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize