Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
